Zuster Young

Zuster Young
Zuster is Dutch for "sister", which is a title used for female missionaries.

Monday, April 4, 2016

The Heart is Willing but the Flesh is Weak

Gonna keep this short this week. We had a hard week, and not very good numbers and hours. But this email I am just gonna share what is in my head this morning.. so just gonna go ahead and warn ya it may be all over the place! I hope you had the opportunity to watch or listen to General Conference. If not, here ya go: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04?cid=HP_SU_3-4-2016_dPFD_fGC_xLIDyL1-B_&lang=eng It was a very powerful conference and strong testimonies about the church and what we believe were shared. I am thankful for the chance I had to watch and hear from the Lord's chosen servants. While watching I just kept thinking of others, praying for others and hoping that they were listening. We had an investigator with us at the church watching, I just prayed that she was feeling the spirit and hearing answers for herself. I thought of some of you back home. While listening I received personal guidance and it was a subtle yet stern call to repentance. As I listened I was reminded of things that I have been trying to do and apply my whole mission. I know that I am weak, I know that I can not do this on my own. I am not trying to do it on my own. But as I listened I realized that there are little things that we do that we don't think to be wandering onto the path of pride. To think that you are too weak to receive further help and light, that you're trying and yet nothing helps. Or just the opposite, finally you feel a sense of energy and strength you start to rely less on the Lord. Now I don't think that I have sinned, yes I am weak.. super weak. But is repentance for weaknesses? That is what I was asking myself. It is seeking repentance that we apply the Atonement of Jesus Christ that our weaknesses become strengths. I then asked myself am I expecting too much from the Lord to just "fix me" and the problems I face and not acting enough? I was reminded over and over again to keep looking to Christ. It did not get the feeling that I was being called a sinner, but it was a gentle reaching out from the Lord. If you look at the Doctrine and Covenants, Joseph Smith and other disciples are called out for disobedience and weaknesses. He was a prophet! They were apostles! Yet they too also had MANY afflictions. And he was continually told to repent. Is that not a similar thing happening to me? Now I am no prophet or anywhere close to that. But I His daughter, with a calling and a purpose. He sees who i am and who I am to become. Look to him. Repent. The peace will come. The darkness will be lifted. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done, yet I have never felt more safe. I am so thankful to be a servant of Jesus Christ. He truly loves us and they want us to be happy and receive all the blessings they have in store for us! I simply wanted to share my testimony with you this week. I am giving this my all. I often feel that my heart and desire is much more stronger than I am physically able to give. Yet the Lord knows I am trying. I get up everyday ready to step out the door and do His work. He knows I want to serve Him. He knows I love Him. And I hope you know that too. I have given my life to this and will continue to give it to him. For He lives and in him shall I live. In his name, even Jesus Christ, Amen. -- Zuster Young

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