A Place Beyond Belief

Goed morgen! In all honesty I have no idea where to begin about this week. This was week went by so very fast and a million things happened! I can not believe that it is the 4th week of this transfer and that its the middle of September! Time is flying. Confession: This week started out so strong and I will explain why in just a second, but by the end of yesterday I have never been so trunky! How terrible is that? Don't worry it is like a cold/flu, there is a cure. And that cure is... We gonna need more cowbell! But nah this week started out great. We went to Brugge last Monday and what a beautiful place! So just a heads up about the pictures overload! We went crazy! Beligum just feels like you're walking in the past, or a movie scene. Absolutely breath taking. Highlight of the week: Exchanges in Antwerpen with Zr. Faa!! We went to Familie Schiltz for dinner (they are the missionaries set Sunday night dinner appointment). I walked through the door and the beautiful and special Zr. Schiltz walked up and gave me a huge hug. It was like a mini homecoming! As we went out and worked it felt like home, completely normal to be there. So many missionaries talk about how weird it is to be back in a former city, having a feeling that it isn't theirs anymore. Yet I had just the opposite, it felt completely normal. Faa and I were walking in Berchem and I stopped this woman. Her name is Naomi from Iraq. She has been living here for 2 years, has been going to church with her Catholic friends and praying constantly. We were talking for a bit, yet she seemed to be in a rush. She did ask questions about the differences in our church and how we pray. She asked us to pray for her, and tried to leave but Faa asked if we could pray with her right there. Naomi was so taken back but agreed. In the middle of Berchem, 3 women stood and prayed. It was a beautiful moment and the spirit so strong, Naomi was led to tears. I couldn't help but smile. We are told to look for "The One" while we are on our mission. Not to worry about the numbers. Yet I feel like we sometimes are so focused on finding "The One" that we aren't seeing that one person each day who is looking. And on Tuesday "The One" was Naomi. I don't know about you, but I feel like we fulfilled our purpose-On September 8th we found the one, a lost and scared sheep and we helped her find her way, even if for a small moment. How amazing. If we just look up, we can find the one everyday. As we finally returned to the Apartment, that was a weird experience! haha When I walked into the apartment I hit a wall of emotions. I just walked into my greenie spot a new person. A completely different person than when I first walked through those doors 10ish months ago. If only I could describe how special that moment was. I am thankful for my time in Antwerpen because there were so many answers to prayers and miracles. We went and saw Agnes! Oh how I love this woman! As she opened the door and I popped out she just did her little African shout and dance and hugged me!! She bought be the most beautiful fabric to make an African dress but I think I will use it to make a blanket. My heart was melting to see her so happy. She has not lost her glow from her baptism. The entire time we were there she just testified of how the this gospel is true. How much happiness she has found. She knows without a shadow of doubt that she is a child of God. She continued to call Zr. Jones and I her angels because we never gave up on her. I was a hot mess of tears! Because of us, she was brought to feel a greater and deeper love: "I know my papa loves me but you love me SOOO much more. And I know God loves me too!" Was absolutely incredible to see her so happy and full of the light of Christ. I have seen one woman come unto Christ. As I sat in her home I felt the words of D&C 18:10,15 "10 Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; 15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! Okay now another piece of what the biggest thing I learned and experienced during this exchange. Wednesday morning during studies I read a little children's book titled "The Littlest Angel" it was a beautiful book. Made me think and ponder about me and my mission. Sometimes I feel like I am just a little missionary, in a little country. I've got a nametag that is too big for me to wear, with more power than I can fit to have. In the book, the littlest angel gives a tiny gift to Heavenly Father, in his eyes it was small and maybe worthless to Heavenly Father. But it was the littlest angel's most prized possession. As Heavenly Father looked at the other gifts he actually picked the Littlest Angel's gift and realized its significance and accepted it. That gift became the Star of Bethlehem on the night Christ was born. So I was thinking and I may just very well be a little missionary but I think of what I left behind to come here. I sacrificed my devotion to soccer, school and my family. I want to share with you another point, something that it talks about in my patriarchal blessing. I have been studying it and trying to feel just a smidge of the person I was before I came here. To feel an ounce of the faith, strength and courage I had as I sat with my Heavenly Father as we discussed my life and I so willingly accepted everything. I signed up for this. I signed up to be a servant of the Lord, to be His disciple, to come here and serve. I did not sign up to become a professional soccer player. I look at what I am doing. I am in Belgium as a servant of the Lord. My gift sometimes, I feel is so small, maybe even worthless. But Heavenly Father accepts my gift. This is my gift: I have sacrificed leaving my life behind to come here and live the life of a disciple of Jesus Christ. I left soccer behind. My gift is giving 100% to the Lord. By giving all my emotion, mental, spiritual and physical strength to Him. I no longer have my soccer body, I can't run the same speed or distance I could before. I wake up in the morning feeling like an 80 year old man, hearing things cracking, aching. I feel like things are out of control and well they are out of my control. This is how I know that I am giving everything to the Lord and he is accepting my gift. Simply because everything is in His hands, he is in control. I know I am being taken care of. Monday night I was kneeling down in prayer, the longest prayer of my mission. I was in tears, asking for help and guidance. Feeling like that small missionary just struggling, wanting to go running and keep running. Now I asked Heavenly Father if this is what Christ felt like in the Garden of Gethsemane? If so, he had an angel come to him. Where is my angel? The thing I heard in my head, was "You are my angel. You are my daughter. There are countless angels round you. But don't you see the angel that is YOU?" Heavenly Father knows us and he has a plan for us. I have no idea what he has in store, but my life is not in my control right now. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I am giving my life day in and day out. I am here to do the very things Christ would do if he were here. Our calling is more than find teach and baptize. We are here to mourn with those that mourn. Comfort those that need comfort. Bring happiness and light. We go to them as Christ would. I know there are still challenges ahead and I have much more to give. But it is comforting to know that as we lose ourself in the work of the Lord, he has us safe in his hands. As hard as this is, I have no regrets of being here. How can I? I feel Heaven here. Thank you for your love and support. Shout out to Jamie Martin for the letter this week, I love and miss the New Bern Young Women! I encourage you all to get on your knees and pray to Heavenly Father and simply talk to him as a friend. He loves you and is always reaching out you. Now I am going to play soccer with the zone! Doei! P.S. I Need Lauren Brown's info!!! -- Zuster Young